First Advisor

Dr. Marty McGovern

Second Advisor

Dr. Andrew Honker

Thesis Committee Member(s)

Dr. Elisabeth Kinsey


College of Contemporary Liberal Studies

Degree Name

Master of Arts

Document Type

Thesis - Open Access

Number of Pages



I have heard it said that one of the hardest genres to write is the memoir. It is definitely the most emotionally and physically draining writing I have ever done. Reliving traumatic events and finding the right balance between accuracy and forgiveness is an exercise in mental contortions. There have been many days where I felt like the world’s most impossible necklace knot by the end of writing a single page.

By completing this memoir, I am untangling a knot and freeing my true self. I'm sharing my story. It is not a story of trauma and child abuse, even though those things did occur, it is a story of redemption and forgiveness. It is a story of understanding. Not just of those who caused the abuse, but of myself and the journey that made me and became my story.

It is my most sincere hope and prayer that my story can help someone else who is enduring the devastating effects of emotional, spiritual, and manipulative abuse. These forms of abuse are often overlooked and discounted. But they are devastating and can become crippling. They pass from generation to generation and destroy a person’s sense of self-worth. They lead to depression, anxiety, self-destructive behavior, and in many cases suicide. It is through Divine intervention that I am here today to write my story. I never succeeded in my desire to disappear and sometimes to die. Help arrived when I least expected it and often didn’t want it. I hope this can be a form of help to someone else in need.

Date of Award

Fall 2020

Location (Creation)

Colorado (state); Denver (county); Denver (inhabited place)

Rights Statement

All content in this Collection is owned by and subject to the exclusive control of Regis University and the authors of the materials. It is available only for research purposes and may not be used in violation of copyright laws or for unlawful purposes. The materials may not be downloaded in whole or in part without permission of the copyright holder or as otherwise authorized in the “fair use” standards of the U.S. copyright laws and regulations.

Included in

Nonfiction Commons